if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
