That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
