I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
