I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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