i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
