I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
