um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
