Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
