The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
