Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
