I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
