STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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