I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
