so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize