Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
zippers are such a cool invention
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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