Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
