Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
