I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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