we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
