She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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