Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
