no. you can't hotbox the world.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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