have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
