plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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