Only a mothe r could love this liver
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
