We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
