Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
