shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
