so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
