I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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