im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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