and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
