I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
