she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
