Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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