I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
