fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
