I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
