I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
