none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
