I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
