Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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