Do you still have your period?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
