Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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