don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
