that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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