Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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