I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
