Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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