She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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